A Not So Silent Night: 5/10

When the Independent, The Telegraph and The Guardian all gave this gig four stars, I wondered if they'd been to a different Royal Albert Hall.

Clearly, they didn't pay £50 a pop to sit in the clouds where the performers were barely visible (no big screens) and where the sound system dared not - or could not - tread. At times, they contrived to render this - one of the world's greatest concert venues - to the aural equivalent of a church hall.

I wish that were my only problem with this get-together (though the rest is probably my fault). You see, as a fan of both Rufus and Martha, I had hoped for a song or two of theirs I might recognise. Instead, I got a Carol Concert and Christmas covers, the lowlight being Rufus's boyfriend singing "Silent Night" in German. "Churchill would be rolling in his grave," remarked a jolly Rufus. At least he didn't have to listen to this schmaltzy tosh.